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I’m an ex-Emirates flight attendant – and this is the psychological technique cabin crew are taught to calm passengers down

by London Mail
December 25, 2024
in Travel
Reading Time: 5 mins read

By TED THORNHILL, MAILONLINE TRAVEL EDITOR

Published: 03:14 EST, 21 December 2024 | Updated: 11:53 EST, 23 December 2024

Witnessing a bout of air rage is never pleasant, but one former flight attendant has revealed something that will bring some comfort – that cabin crew have been trained to deploy a psychological negotiation technique to calm persistently problematic passengers down.

Ex-Emirates flight attendant Marika Mikusova, who has written three Diary Of A Flight Attendant books about the five years she spent working at 38,000ft, revealed to MailOnline Travel that the technique goes by the acronym L.E.A.P. These letters denote the four stages of the method – ‘listen, empathise, ask and paraphrase’.

During the first stage, the flight attendant is all ears.

Czech Marika, 35, explains: ‘First, we listen carefully to the passenger without interrupting them. If the passenger is sitting down, it is a good idea to crouch down so that he or she does not feel that we have a psychological advantage by standing and looking down at them as if we were their parent, teacher or any authority figure. Clever, huh?

‘So, if you see a kneeling flight attendant in the aisle who isn’t smiling but just listening attentively to the passenger and occasionally nodding, you know what it is all about.’

Is the nodding important? Yes, it shows empathy (stage two).

Ex-Emirates flight attendant Marika Mikusova (above) has revealed the technique cabin crew are taught to calm down angry passengers

Ex-Emirates flight attendant Marika Mikusova (above) has revealed the technique cabin crew are taught to calm down angry passengers

Marika, who lives in Prague, reveals: ‘By nodding, we are letting the passenger know that we understand their anger and are keen to resolve the problem.’

Body language is also crucial.

Marika continues: ‘It’s hard for the passenger to believe we’re trying to find a solution if, for example, we keep our arms crossed.

‘By the way, just listening and not interrupting is often enough for the passenger to vent their frustration and not escalate it further.’

And if the passenger is still livid? It’s time for the next stage – ask.

Marika says: ‘We can ask the passenger open-ended questions – for example “what”, “where”, “when” – to get to the root of the problem. This has the benefit of giving the complainant a chance to fully express their feelings.’

Marika, pictured in Dubai, reveals that cabin crew 'listen, empathise, ask and paraphrase' when dealing with air rage passengers

Marika, pictured in Dubai, reveals that cabin crew ‘listen, empathise, ask and paraphrase’ when dealing with air rage passengers 

Diary of A Flight Attendant is a warts-and-all behind-the-scenes look at what it's really like to work at 38,000ft

Diary of A Flight Attendant is a warts-and-all behind-the-scenes look at what it’s really like to work at 38,000ft

Then, it’s time to summarise.

‘In the end, we play a kindergarten teacher,’ says Marika. ‘So we’re summarising the information the passenger has spouted at us to let him or her know we’ve been listening all along and understand their point. Meanwhile, the passenger either nods or corrects us as appropriate.

‘Most people are incredibly relieved at this point. The passenger feels like a winner. Though we are totally drained. However, at least we might have just prevented something worse – swearing, physical aggression, destruction of the plane. You never know.’

And if the passenger is seriously aggressive?

‘For those who are aggressive, we don’t have any words, but acts – and useful equipment in our restraint kit,’ says Marika.

Marika Mikusova’s book Diary of a Flight Attendant is out now. Click here to order a copy. You can find Marika on Instagram here.

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